Wednesday, September 29, 2010

For the first time in a long time I feel like I can actually do this.....

Well I'm feeling good. I hope this continues! My motivation seems to be kicking in quite nicely which is perfect timing. Today was not a struggle in the slightest. Definitely stayed under my 1000 calorie maximum limit, and I didn't struggle with any negative side effects from eating significantly less food than what my body has been used to of late. Brilliant! It's only early days and I recognize that I have a long way to go still, but I figure that a little positivity never hurt anyone.

So I guess I should fill you in a bit on my current life situation. I study Psychology and I work 2 part-time jobs, which keeps me busy. My work hours are all over the place but I usually work shifts that are at dinner time which means it's going to be extremely easy for me to avoid excess calories that I normally would be forced to eat by my mother. I still live at home, but both my parents and older sister work full-time so I have a lot of spare time to myself during the day when I don't have class. I'm very fortunate to have a fantastic boyfriend who means the world to me, he's extremely supportive and understanding of my craziness (thankfully)! He seems to find my body much more appealing that I ever have, and he would hate it if I were super skinny. He supports me going on a 'diet' though which is great for me, but obviously I keep the explicit details to myself; and this blog of course. He would be worried if I lost a lot of weight though, because the last time I did was before we were going out and I was quite depressed at the time. So I'm trying to be as realistic as I can about my weight loss BUT at the end of the day it's my body and it's my choice; it's just something I have to do. I've tried to accept myself how I am but I refuse to, I cannot. Instead when I look in the mirror I feel fat, disgusted and depressed... constantly. So I have no choice but to do this. I know I will feel so much better when I get closer to my goal.

Today I went to the supermarket and bought a few Atkins diet bars, I had one for dinner and it was really tasty, so I think I'll be buying some more of those. They also had a diet shake thing which is in powder form, wasn't sure if it'd be any good... has anyone tried it? I'm not super keen on going on a specific type of diet though, I like to make it up as I go along. Other things I need to get are: apples, diet iced tea, and sugar free red bull.

Plan for tomorrow? I'm meant to be studying all day and then working at night, although I've had zero motivation to do any uni work of late. I'm trying to eat relatively low-carb as well as low-calorie, so I'll probably have an omelette, Atkins bar, fruit/vegetables, and a salad for the day. I'll be sure to update on here of course! My aim is to post at least once a day, however I know that will be impossible on some days but I'll do my best. Blogging is therapeutic for me :)

Stay strong! xx

1 comment:

  1. hey welcome back! :)
    I'm glad you feel great and motivated, and make sure I'll be expecting your next post!!

    no, I have no idea about the powder thing but I don't really trust these kind of things. maybe you should just stick to the diet bars.

    have a nice day, xoxo