Sunday, October 3, 2010

I have to do this.








I'm so angry with myself!! FUCK! I was good ALL day, and then I was so hungry that I ate some chips just before.... FAILURE. It was like I had no control at all while it was happening even though I did. I can't let this happen again :( I gave in to the stupid hunger. Now I'm dreading getting on the scale tomorrow morning even more than I was before.

Tomorrow is going to be a different story. I've decided to start running again. I need to be burning calories everyday because at the moment I'm not really doing any physical activity whatsoever and it's disgusting. Looking in the mirror seems to get more and more depressing each day so I have to start being harder on myself. I used to run all the time but now I'm so unfit. I'm ready to get back into it though; I have no other choice. I must take control of food and my weight, and running is definitely going to help with that.

I have a few events coming up in the next few months which I need to look good for, but the most important one (which I REALLY need to lose weight for) is my 21st birthday which is in about 7 weeks. I need to lose 8kg in 7 weeks. I know it's possible if I work hard enough, I really really really do not want to fail. At the moment I feel repulsed when I look at photos of myself and I definitely don't want that for my 21st. I want to buy a nice dress and for it to actually look ok on me. I cannot fail.

So as for eating...

- I will fill up on fruit, vegetables and healthy salads
- I will drink 2 litres of water everyday and fill up on low calorie liquids
- I will eat small portions of low-fat protein
- I will not eat bread, pasta, desserts or any heavy carbs
- I will not eat fast food
- I will limit my alcohol consumption considerably (I drink a lot unfortunately, it's my escape)

And I will run and run and run and run.

I will probably also do some circuit training (sit-ups, push-ups, squats, lunges etc etc).

I have to get fit and I have to get thin. At least I still have some time but soon it will be too late so I have to take action now. I really want this.

Of course I'll be updating on the progress as much as I can! First I have to get my essay written; story of my life, there's always something to be done. I'm so sorry that I haven't been commenting on your blogs much, I barely have time to update mine atm because I'm so busy with uni full time and 2 jobs but I promise I'll make a proper effort over the next few weeks.

I HAVE TO DO THIS.
I WANT THIS.
I CAN DO THIS.
I AM DETERMINED.
I WILL BE THIN.

Stay strong,
xx

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